I write this in clear text. In general I find that one can live with diabetes today quite well. There are meanwhile all sorts of technical possibilities, which allow us to make everyday life with the illness more pleasant and more easy peasy. But we all know, and I have already written about it, diabetes goes far beyond blood glucose meters and insulin syringes.
Sometimes, when I walk through the streets, I wonder how many diabetics are likely to move around in my environment (I admit, sometimes I catch people just gagging their ass, just to see if there is an insulin pump In the bag, but in most cases it is cigarette packs, not much better). Or I wonder how many people are on the road with diseases you do not see. Just like diabetes. Diabetes is invisible. And that makes it so difficult for the outside world to understand what it really means to live with diabetes on the cheek.
LOOK GOOD, BUT FEEL SHIT
High blood glucose values make me feel like pissed. This inner exhaustion, hammering in the head, unbearable thirst, laziness, just a crappy feeling and a situation in which I often just want to sleep for my bed and a cap.
On the outside, I do not even notice it, or hardly at all. Except maybe people who know me well. Perhaps also a little, because I have learned over the years to overshoot everything. Diabetics are masters. In such a moment to say, one does not feel well, or could not do this & That just because one is not doing well, often meets incomprehension. You see, finally, blindingly. In the worst case you are also accused, you would not tell the truth. Everything already experienced.
SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
Much blood glucose levels, especially hypoglycemias, it is quite no matter when they skim. Apart from the fact that they can not be used at any time, they like to pass by at night. Nocturnal hypotension is like a 10km run with final sprint for my body. Feasible, but untrained quite strenuous and hard-working. An unpleasant body feeling and having to eat in the middle of the night, even though you are not hungry.
Corrosive! Falling asleep is then difficult for me and the night is traversed by sleep and wax phases and sometimes also nausea and stomach pain. The morning after such a hypo-night I can mostly kink. Often it is hard for me to describe this feeling for people with still functioning pancreas. It's kind of like being sick. A mixture of a light flu, with a shooting circuit and a splash kater. So roughly. Even if the blood sugar is already in the normal range. Externally, I can not be seen this night.
AGAIN THE ASS TORN OPEN
Diabetes never goes according to plan and there are good and bad days. Just like Bad Hair Days. Only Bad D-Days. The bad ones are particularly frustrating for me when I simply do not have a solution for the problem, or have a solution, but this does not show any effect. Having diabetes is one thing to understand it is quite another. And even after more than 25 years, he is often an inscrutable something for me. To constantly break your head and probably still have the feeling to be wrong or to be stupid or simply a bad diabetic , can often go quite well to the substance .
THINK ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL FOR OTHER PEOPLE
This is especially about eating and drinking. Not whether I may or may not. Because diabetics are allowed to eat everything. It's about headwork. While it is completely normal for metabolic-healthy people to use themselves at the buffet, to snap at times here and there what to snacks, easy to eat when and how much you have Bock, begins in my head the large calculation. How many carbohydrates does this and that have? Do I still have active insulin intus? Did I do sports or still have physical activity in the next few hours? Will I eat anything now or in stages? What type of bolus is the right one? Normal, dual or delayed? Do I need extra insulin for fat and proteins? And and and and then you also have crooked BE-factors, Prost meal! Diabetes is headwork. Every day and every bite.
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